Space Australiaaaaaa (or not)

leeshajoy:

A lot of the substances we think of as protection against the supernatural (e.g. salt, silver, garlic) are actually antibacterial, and would have helped stave off infections and illnesses that people once attributed to supernatural influence.

Based on this, I want to see a story where vampires are repelled by hand sanitizer.

(via hear-be-a-dragon)

mother-entropy:

copperbadge:

wonderfulworldofmichaelford:

kimoramay:

I was told recently about a school that was shamed into changing its school motto. The motto was “I hear, I see, I learn.” Nothing wrong with that per se. Unfortunately the motto was in Latin, and the Latin for “I hear, I see, I learn” is “audio, video, disco”.

What the fuck that’s the best school motto ever change it back

Your yearly reminder that “I learn through suffering” can be translated into Latin as “Disco Inferno.” 

learn, baby, learn!

(via gallusrostromegalus)

company:

blusoldier:

company:

girlinpieces:

half of this website should learn this

Shut the fuck up

(via tauntedoctopuses)

aureliaborealis:

wemblingfool:

nealashitposts:

If I were rich here’s what I’d do with my free time okay

Mermaid pranks

Let me explain. So, I’d get one of those super fancy mermaid tails, like those sick as hell silicone ones that has the super long thick tail that uses like, toe pullies and stuff to make the fins move in cool and impossible ways. like this

(source)

And I would go all fucking out on this fit okay. We’re talking diving lessons until I can hold my breath for 7 minutes and go deep as fuck. Long hair, starfish, scales up to my tits, those funky contacts that make it so you can see under water, all of it- everything I could to make myself look as “thing of the deep but hot” as possible. 

Then, I’d go get some shiny valuable rocks. Pearls, Uncut gems, like super fuck’n nice ones like diamonds and shit, and ofc some gold coins. Then I’d dawn my mermaid fit and hit public waterways. Rivers, beys, lakes, places where people are around and might be swimming, but where I’m not gonna die via boat propeller, and not super crowded areas where a lot of people are swimming. 

Then I just prank people by poking my head out of the water and surprising them, then I motion them closer and reach into my hair or satchel or something and give them a fucking emerald, smiling all big the whole time then I just- swim the fuck away. 

What the fuck they  gonna do now!? Keep it as a fun memory of that time a fuck’n mermaid larper gave them a shiny rock? Never know it’s actually valuable? Or do they take it to a jeweler and find out it’s real? How the fuck are they gonna explain that. They gonna tell the jeweler a fuck’n mermaid gave it to them?! I think the fuck not. 

Gonna pop up at the peir and smile at people and give gold coins to whoever stops. Kids are gonna freak. Put a little wonder back in the world. Flirt with pretty girls. Swim down rivers, pop up and surprise some old lady sitting by the water and give her an uncut diamond then swim away without a word. 

Get a reputation as the weird lesbian mermaid who gives out precious gems and never speaks then suddenly stop without warning for like three years to give people time to forget me then do it all again. 

If it’s a kid, and only the kid has seen you, act horrified that you’ve been found.

Beg them to keep you a secret, and give them the jewel/coin in exchange.

i swear to god ultra rich people are so fucking boring with their mansions and yachts. ThiS is what i wanna see in the world. Where are the superheroes? The masquerade balls? WHO is gonna invent real farie wings that let you fly??

(via naamahdarling)

newmidnightmayor:

star wars au i just thought of: luke and leia being raised as sith by vader

sith luke and sith leia defecting to the resistance

luke tearing apart a prisoner’s mind and seeing that the resistance doesn’t kill children, that the resistance doesn’t destroy wantonly 

luke telling leia he’s going to defect and leia going with him, partially because the empire obviously won’t last but mostly because luke needs someone to keep him out of trouble

obi wan kenobi meeting the twin conquerers, the most feared sith aside from vader, and staring as they tell him they want to join the rebellion

resistance personnel trying to reconcile the monsters that destroyed worlds and butchered communities with the young man with laughing eyes and the quick witted woman with the grace of a queen

luke and leia tearing through the death star on the way to the emperor, red blades flashing

palpatine watching his plans be torn apart by the sith he helped train

the twins watching a smuggler hired by kenobi walk by and deciding they want him (the thought of not sharing never crosses their minds)

han being faced with two sith that don’t know how to court like normal people, that think the heads of your enemies are romantic

snoke getting his ass kicked by sith leia when he goes after ben

(via tauntedoctopuses)

voyageofbran:

xphilosoraptorx:

roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it:

mygreenknittedsweater:

pricklylesbian:

valorheart:

early homo sapiens b like help i cant stop making bowls . help i cant stop domesticating plants and animals. help i cant stop developing language and architecture and religion

ok im obsessed w this tag

once in grade 6 I saw a ‘pottery making club’ in a ditch on the schoolyard- I assume at some point someone realized there was actually good quality clay in the ditch and when I walked up there were about a dozen 12 year olds sitting around the few girls who had brought their water bottles out to mix the clay, and a designated spot to put the finished bowls and tablets, and people going off and collecting sticks to make designs with and i really think that’s the natural state of the human race

In elementary school I learned that you can make paint out of certain sedimentary rocks on the playground if you crushed them and mixed with water and at one point I had up to 25 kindergarten through third graders making cave paintings on the underside of the slides

The nature of man is such that every so often, someone recreates the neolithic era.

Yeah, every recess

(via glumshoe)